This mourning I had a costumer ask me in retrospective of my art showing at the Sorbe Gallery near the place of her residence was coming to an end why I never called her son in San Francisco about a job in the E.A. Games where he works. Once again she explained that with my talent for imagination, writing and art I could go far in the gaming industry. I have very little experience playing video games and I would be quite naive at any such endeavor however it is an artistic environment. After the guilt trip I had I began to think if why I did not call him four years ago. It occurred to me why I did not call was that I was probably terrified of calling a stranger. The phone can terrify me greatly at times,
At times, friends and family have called and I just stare at the phone as if it were a stun gun ready to fire. What could be on the other end of the line? Could it be bad news, a new social engagement or an order of doom? My social phobia and panic attacks rush through my body as I shale and hyperventilate. It is an aspect of my life I am at victim to.
When I came across this nice lady again I explained that I have Asperger’s and one of the aspects of Asperger’s is I am terrified of new or unknown social situations and that phone call counted as one. In the past years since her first request, I have found that communicating through email and letters are an outlet of outreach. This avenue of communication and adapting to Asperger’s is not new, Thomas Jefferson wrote his State of the Union Addresses and had them read by someone else to Congress. Having my words down in front of me and able to be sure of what I have said will not be too upsetting or misunderstood helps me communicate.
The nice Lady said that she did not want to pressure me into this and I explained that I now have a better knack for this type of adventure forward. I have no plans to move to San Francisco anytime soon however having new contacts always is a good thing. Even if I only contact them via in letterform.